Tuesday, January 20, 2009

FACT:

Teddy is proud today.

Friday, January 16, 2009

You Can't Stop The Signal

  • Polio runs in the Roosevelt family - the only reason Teddy didn't have it is because polio knows better.
  • Teddy Roosevelt's blood can cure cancer. Unfortunately, he left most of it on San Juan Hill and decided he didn't actually need it.
  • Teddy Roosevelt can win an argument on the Internet.
  • Teddy Roosevelt is the choice of a new generation.
  • The last digit of pi is Teddy Roosevelt.
  • Teddy Roosevelt can feed his Mogwai after midnight.
  • The only thing that can kill Teddy Roosevelt is another Teddy Roosevelt. And even then it's tricky.
Do you know something about Teddy Roosevelt we don't? Well, then share it, you jerk.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Truth Must Be Known.

  • If Teddy Roosevelt were President today, we would not only have captured Osama Bin Laden, Teddy would have led the search team and personally beaten Mr. Al-Qaeda to within an inch of his life.
  • Also, no one would be hurt or killed by IEDs or suicide bombers. Roosevelt's glare alone is enough to disarm a bomb.
  • Bruce Wayne wanted to be Teddy Roosevelt when he grew up.
  • Roosevelt founded the Bull Moose party after killing, carving, and ingesting both a bull and a moose with his bare hands.
  • Roosevelt once punched Death right in the mouth. The two have not been seen together since.
  • Roosevelt once built a raft out of three compliant grizzly bears.
  • Roosevelt once fought Cthulhu and came to a draw. He was six months old.
  • Roosevelt's trademark spectacles did not improve his eyesight - they merely exposed the weaknesses of his enemies.
  • Roosevelt is on God's speed dial in case of emergencies.
  • Hitler didn't commit suicide because the Allies were at his doorstep. He committed suicide because Teddy Roosevelt set him a threatening letter.
Have more true facts about our 26th and best president? Send them to geekspeakradio915@gmail.com.