Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Truth Must Be Known.

  • If Teddy Roosevelt were President today, we would not only have captured Osama Bin Laden, Teddy would have led the search team and personally beaten Mr. Al-Qaeda to within an inch of his life.
  • Also, no one would be hurt or killed by IEDs or suicide bombers. Roosevelt's glare alone is enough to disarm a bomb.
  • Bruce Wayne wanted to be Teddy Roosevelt when he grew up.
  • Roosevelt founded the Bull Moose party after killing, carving, and ingesting both a bull and a moose with his bare hands.
  • Roosevelt once punched Death right in the mouth. The two have not been seen together since.
  • Roosevelt once built a raft out of three compliant grizzly bears.
  • Roosevelt once fought Cthulhu and came to a draw. He was six months old.
  • Roosevelt's trademark spectacles did not improve his eyesight - they merely exposed the weaknesses of his enemies.
  • Roosevelt is on God's speed dial in case of emergencies.
  • Hitler didn't commit suicide because the Allies were at his doorstep. He committed suicide because Teddy Roosevelt set him a threatening letter.
Have more true facts about our 26th and best president? Send them to

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